I've made a lot of bad choices in my life, usually because I would just act on a random, stupid impulse. As I've gotten older, I've discovered that if I make goals, I'll be able to do the things I desire to do, in a step by step motion. I have to do everything a certain way, and goals make it that much easier for my wanted outcome to happen.
#1: Stay Sober.
- I started doing drugs at a young age. I started with alcohol, just drinking at parties with stupid people, then I started to just drink on my own. I started smoking coke, meth, pills, smoking weed, I did everything, and after I've been clean for 10 months, it has gotten a lot easier for me not to think about getting high. I got addicted quick, and it was so hard for me to get out of the game, because I though the people I was dealing with were my friends. Over the past year, I've come to a realization that there ain't no real friends in this life. It's hard for people to gain my trust, just because I've been stabbed in the back way too many times. I accomplished one of my goals by graduating drug treatment, now I need to be able to stay sober by myself. Meth is a hard thing to quit, but you can do it, you just have to want it bad enough.
#2: Graduate High School With A 4.0.
- I've always hated school. All throughout junior high, I screw off and paid more attention to the people around me rather than my grades and schoolwork. At the end of my ninth grade year I was so strung out on meth I failed every single one of my classes, and I had to make them all up my tenth grade year. The crappy thing about that situation is, is that if I would have my head on straight in ninth grade, I wouldn't have had to worry about making up those credits while I was in tenth grade. I'm graduating this year, and I am proud of myself. I'm sober, I'm strong, and I'm willing.
#3: Get A Place With My Husband.
- I've been married to Julio since June 18, 2013. I've been locked up ever since, and I feel like since I've made that commitment to him, all I've been is a lost burden. Married people are supposed to be with each other all the time, and this separation is making me go crazy, and it's making Julio go crazy, too. I can't just go see him everyday, it's a lot more complicated than that. I have made a goal that I need to reach. As soon as I'm released from foster care, whether that be a few months from now, or a year from now, I'm going to be the person he married and not some stranger living 20 minutes away with strangers instead of my own husband. I'm a good wife, and he's a great husband. I'm going to get a job and save all of my money so we can get a place with each other and get the hell away from everyone else.
#4: Stay Away From Those Who Influence Me Negatively.
- There Is going to be negativity everywhere you go, straight up. You can't run away from the negativity, but you can block it out. If you choose wise people to associate with, then you won't be setting yourself up to fail. I've been in a lot of different schools, and there has always been some idiot that I hang with, and when that person went down, they drug me down with them. I am keeping myself in tune by associating with people who are like me in a way because they understand me. I believe it's better for me to spend my time with positive people, not those who are negative.
#5: Forgive Myself Of My Past Mistakes.
- I know I can't go back and change the past, and I fully accept that. The only thing I would like to change is the way I view myself because of my past. If I could change my mindset about my past actions, then I'll more than likely stop bagging on myself, and I'll be forgiven. It's hard when I sit and think of the situation I'm in now, and I think back and say to myself, "Oh damn, if I wouldn't have done that stupid stuff then I wouldn't be in this position right now." It sucks because I try to forgive others to the best of my ability, but when it ones to me, myself, it's much more difficult than me just saying, "You're forgiven."
All of these things that I would like to do are going to take longer than just a few short days to achieve. They are going to take weeks, months, they may even take years. As long as I know that I made the goal and I at least tried to achieve it, then I'll feel a lot better about myself and my willingness and capability and I'll just have to tell myself to get back up and try even harder this time.
9 comments:
First that is a long read.I like how you have the guts to admit your mistakes.A lot of people at summit are proud of what they have done. You are different.
I like your goals. I like how you put some personal things in there. Not many people would do that. Including me.
Hey nice paper I liked it a lot I'm kinda that way right now about school and what not I struggle with it part of me just wants to screw around but part of me knows I can't in order to graduate. And I give you props for staying sober I know how hard it is I was addicted to pain pills and heroin and it also distracted me from my schooling. Thanks a lot for your paper it helped me realize that I'm not the only one
I really liked your goal to stay sober because it relates to my life a lot I also liked how u put personal things in there to.
Yea, it's hard to keep negitive around even when that person is someone you love a lot.It's sad to think that, yet it's true some people won't change no matter what your plea is. You describe your feelings great, staying sober is really hard also, it's takes a strong person to do the right thing. I personally think staying sober,having positive influences In your life and forgiving yourself ties together. The past is hard to forgive and hard to change into positive and maintain the positive by staying sober if I was to go back to my old ways and not forgive myself and have negitive around me and not be sober then all would somewhat counteract each other I think. Anyways, it made me think a lot and I think your paper is awesome.
Thanks, it's not easy. I feel lost lately..
It's awesome how you admit your mistakes and that your willing to become a better person.I love how you don't care what people think about you. Keep it up girl!
Wow you really want to do something with your life you have a good head on your shoulders. I like how you said you want to graduate from high school with a 4.0. I believe that every one should graduate high school? I also like how you said you want to forgive your self of past mistakes. Doing that is a really hard process.
I chose to be sober and isn't such a bad challenge if your do something you love to do other than that and it's legal cause if I were to make music high or on alcohol I wouldn't call that real talent ,gods given me the ability to do what I need to do to do what I want to do.peroid
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